a girl named honor

what is the meaning of life? what is my purpose? is there a God? what is the ultimate source of everything? what happens at death? how do we know right & wrong? how is truth discovered?

don’t you love dissecting these questions? ever since once upon a time, humanity has wrestled with answering these pressing inquiries that shape the very foundations of mankind. we’ve come up with quite a number of opinions too if you take a look at the many religions out there, especially in eastern civilizations. then you’ve got the multitude of westerners who decided to trash spirituality all together with their heavy loads of apathy & materialistic desires.

however, everyone fits into one of three main categories: you either believe in a God, no god, or many gods. i’m not trying to challenge or argue anyone into a religious debate, but i do humbly ask that you really take a look at what you believe & why you believe it based on the biggest questions concerning…well, everything.

this week i was really challenged to open my eyes & add dimension to my worldview. i refuse to blindly walk by faith alone. i hate being ignorant & thinking someone is wrong based on the sole reason i think i’m right. because i’m nowhere near knowing all the answers. but i’m on the journey & loving every step:).

it baffles me that some people all together just don’t care where we all came from or where we’re going after we die. aren’t they curious? i feel like this longing to know your source & finding relation in that connection is embedded in our dna. i want you to know my agenda is not religion, it’s love. but this love comes from somewhere & that is the very point i’m trying to get across to anyone who’s willing to ask the hard questions.

i’m not going to turn this post into a novel trying to answer all those questions from my perspective, because quite frankly i’m sure it’ll bore most of you. however, i do want to process the various beliefs of “the beginning & the end” because that’s kind of the pretext or basis from which all world-views grow.

-if you believe in one God, he is the ultimate source of everything. this is precisely why the Bible starts off establishing identity [in the beginning, God created the heavens & the earth]—genesis was written to early israelites who lived in a world of idols & God wanted to explain to them the identity of the universe.

-if you’re an atheist or agnostic, there is no god. so everything just sort of appeared. so how did all the right stuff just land on earth? how did the first cell begin? you are our own god. if you’re the only thing you’re living for,  people live off apathy, fed by their insignificant stuff. “the god of this age [satan] has blinded the people” with things like sex, fame, money, drugs, alchohol, you name it. since they have all these distractions & worldly pleasures, i think that causes the loss of interest in a greater being. the materialist understands everything yet nothing seems worth understanding. their world revolves around them. & it’s interesting because how does an atheist explain how a phenomenon like love evolves? is that something purely physical & mechanical? isn’t it obvious we’re living in more than just a tangible world? & what’s the point in living a life that’s solitary, nasty, brutish & short? how is that at all appealing…

-if you’re a pantheist [like buddhist or hindu], you believe everything is god & nothing is god all at once. well, if you read the very first verse in scripture, it will prove hindus wrong. but that being said, let’s look deeper into their beliefs. it’s true there is a whole spiritual world out there, but true hindus believe things like suffering are illusory. okay, well tell that to the person who’s suffering. & then they refuse to help one another, because they feel it will screw up karma. so you live in suffering forever. how does that even make sense? then you’ve got a stem off of hinduism & come to buddhist beliefs that claim everything is an illusion, including yourself. the essence of you is nothingness. it’s not nothing or something; it’s something you can say nothing about. if you express it, you are wrong. it’s not a path to life; it’s a path to cessation of life. why would your ultimate goal in life be to become extinct? where’s the meaning & purpose in that?

so much contradicts itself. & yes, parts of the bible may seem contradictory, but you MUST look at the context of the verse & look at the various translations, because that makes a world of difference. reality is either spiritual, physical, or personal. personal includes both the physical & spiritual in Christ. it’s in the middle of both extremes. & that is where my faith lies. because i’m going to go out on a limb & say i AM real, love IS real, & i am made in the image of the most wonderful Creator who not only loves the heck out of me but also has a purpose & plan for my life. God is the best explanation, the only one. if you ask me, that’s the only way life is really worth enduring. “in this world, you will have trouble. fear not; i have overcome the world.” —J.C.

the most beautiful people i have ever known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, & have found their way out of the depths. they’re the ones who have developed an appreciation, a sensitivity, & an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, & a deep loving concern. beautiful people don’t just happen.

your broken heart will mend. & yeah, it can take a long time, but something that was once so powerful & beautiful should give you that pain…otherwise, you didn’t surrender your whole heart. i’ve been learning a lot about living in a lukewarm state of being. & believe me, sitting on the fence is worse than being on either side. what’s the point of doing anything if you’re only going to give it half of you?

even in christianity—i never really understood this before, but i think i’m beginning to—why say you’re a christian but live a completely different lifestyle outside the realm of church? God doesn’t have boundaries. for example—people in china are dying & going to prison for owning up to their belief in God. would you be willing to sacrifice your rights to follow Christ? clearly there are those who think He’s worth dying for.

i understand it takes a lot of time & searching & faith to accept the whole concept of Jesus. & believe me, it takes faith. there are so many questions that will remain unanswered until his return. but if we did have God all figured out, what would be so awe-inspiring about him? obviously we can’t wrap our minds around stories like noah & the ark or how the earth was created in seven days, but he’s all-knowing, all-powerful. God can do whatever the heck he wants. you just have to believe he’s going to catch you when you fall into his arms.

ahh. back to the whole lukewarm faith subject. i’m not judging anyone or telling them they’re wrong for how they live, because only God can reach the depth of our hearts, but can i ask you why would you claim something so incredible & not want to follow his footsteps? i’m not even talking about going to church every sunday. that doesn’t necessarily make anyone a christian. many churches are more concerned with lifting up man than lifting up God—ranking their success by population, revenue & such petty matters. that being said, it’s still great for finding fellowship—just be sure to test everything with a humble heart.

why wouldn’t you want to be a part of the most epic story of eternity we’re all wrapped up in? & to be on the hero’s side? & to already know the hero & his children live happily ever after? christianity is that simple. it’s that story we’re told when we’re five years old sitting in a sunday school class. it’s not about how impressive your resume is & doesn’t come with a bunch of loopholes—it’s about your heart & who you let it belong to.

dude. i don’t understand how you can’t think that sounds absolutely mind-bogglingly thrilling. living for Christ isn’t as bland as organized religion might make it out to be. it’s not about all the rules & restrictions; i mean i suppose, as a follower, you should want to be obedient & holy which comes from sacrificing certain worldly pleasures. but more importantly being a christian is all about living without worry or fear because God’s got it under control & spending all of your days loving on everyone you encounter, inviting them to embark on this epic quest as well if they so desire.

i’ve noticed i tend to start off with one intention & completely end up in a different world. lo siento, mis amigos.

this too shall pass.

& you’ll come out more radiant than ever.

a few of you were wondering what i’m doing in australia, so here’s a paraphrased explanation: i’ve been struggling with depression for the past few years, & this past october was the climax of my downfall. i suppose i forgot i was living for more than simply myself. i withdrew from SAIC & spent the remainder of the semester at home, just trying to heal. it wasn’t a pretty time, but it gave me massive amounts of time to ponder where my life was going & discover the whole art of losing myself. i have an enormous passion for the nations, & so although school was an option, i felt drawn to work with the organization Youth With A Mission. i hold the utmost respect for YWAM, because it empowers youth & allows little people to do big things too. although they have hundreds of bases globally, i was compelled to YWAM Wollongong in australia because they have an emphasis on unreached people groups. so, for the next three months, i’ll be doing discipleship training school. once that’s complete, i’ll be shipped off to a country located in the 10/40 window so that i may share the love of Christ with those i meet through, serving them in any way i’m called. i know some of you are a bit skeptical of christianity, & to be honest, i don’t blame you. there’s a lot of hypocrisy & deceit & sin within the church, just as there is on the outside. when you’re claiming to be a follower of Christ, you’re not claiming to be perfect. you’re just trying your best to be like Christ. there’s so many self-proclaimed christians that base believing in God on rules rather than love that even i’m slow to call myself a christian. i’m completely in love with Jesus, but you can’t base who He is off of his followers. because we’ll always let you down. He won’t. so, maybe you don’t believe in the same God that i do—i respect that—i just want you to remember not to measure how wonderful our father in heaven is based on mere humans. i hope this gives you sort of an idea of what i’m doing. if not, i’d love to talk:). just email me at honorheindl@gmail.com or find me on facebook.